The Quotes Page—everybody gets one.

“I believe humans always sucked. They just suck in different ways now.”
Girly

“No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”
General George S. Patton, US Army

“Momoko here ain't my friend, see? I kept saying we were buds, but she never did. She never wanted to be friends with me. And you know what? I just figured out why. You all wanna be friends all the time. You all wanna be part of a group. But that's just cus you're afraid to be alone, ain't it? You're scared to be alone so you want somebody there beside you. That's all it is. And then you keep telling each other what great buddies you are to make yourselves feel better.
[...]
“...Momoko was there for me when I was going through a really rough time. She stayed right there beside me, but she didn't say a word. If it was you guys, you'da tried to comfort me with all the usual shit. But you wouldn't be sayin' that stuff for me, you'd be saying it for yourself. It'd be all about proving what a great friend you are, and how you care so much about me, so when you need someone you could count on me. Well, if counting's what you're into, pay attention in fucking math class. Go to college and study economics. She knows, see? She knows you can't really share someone else's pain or suffering, no matter how hard you try. She knows they gotta deal with it on their own.”
Kamikaze Girls by Novala Takemoto

j_brisby: “Rape is wrong because most of us don't want to be raped and we live in a society in which authority derives from the will of the people.”
the_new_lemon: “So if the majority of people decided that they liked raping the minority who don't like to be raped, would that make rape ok since we live in a society in which authority derives from the will of the people?”
j_brisby: “Yes. On what basis would you say that it isn't?”
the_new_lemon: “I didn't say that it isn't. I was just trying to see if your views would remain consistent in the face of their absurd implications.
“You realize, of course, that according to numerous sources, the a majority of people (Americans, at least) believe that humans were created in pretty much their original form within the past 10,000, and that homosexuality is wrong? So according to you, both of these beliefs are correct on account of the fact that they are held by majorities. Do you agree?”
j_brisby: “No, it's your turn now. On what basis would you say rape is wrong?”

“Since when is, "I really, really want X to be true" an argument for why X is true?
“Nothing beats knowing that X is true" is not an argument for why X is true. "If X isn't true, then what's the point?" is not an argument for why X is true. "X gives me a sense of a greater purpose in life" is not an argument for why X is true.
“Or at least, it's not a good argument.
“This is what Ingrid calls "the argument from wishful thinking." And if it were made about anything else in the world, our response would either be pity or an uncontrollable fit of the giggles. If I were to argue that ice cream doesn't have any calories, that the California economy is flourishing, that I have a six-figure book contract, that I'm going to live for a thousand years, that the Middle East is a utopia of peace and harmony, that Alan Rickman and Rachel Maddow are waiting outside my front door right now to ravish me for hours -- simply because I really, really want these things to be true -- nobody would consider that a good argument. Nobody would take it seriously, even for a second.
“So why do people consider it a valid argument when it comes to God and religion?
[…]
“The argument from wishful thinking is completely backwards. It picks a pleasant philosophy first... and then crams reality into it, whether it fits or not. And that's backwards. Reality comes first. Reality is more important than our opinions or wishes. It makes much more sense to look at reality first... and then find a philosophy consistent with it that we find useful and meaningful. (And then, of course, to modify that philosophy as needed when our understanding of reality changes.)”
Greta Christina

“Dude, nobody expects you to wait 'til you're married to fuck your brother. When you're fucking your brother, you get a free pass on the other relationship stuff. Incest is awesome like that.”
The incestuous courtship of the antichrist's bride by fleshflutter

“I just love drawing buttocks. Buttocks are justice. Buttocks are beauty. Buttocks are love. Buttocks are art. There is an infinity of words to express this.
“Buttocks in 2D allow for more dreams than in 3D. Depending on the artist's imagination, it is possible to draw ideal curves.
[…]
“I did try once nude painting, but I found out that, as one observes the body lines of an actual person, they discover unexpected shapes, and draw body lines that even are beyond any understanding.
“More than once did I experience despair at the hands of realistic-drawn buttocks.
“Then, I thought about seeking out my very own ideal buttocks drawing style. And launched by this thought, I shall draw my own ideal buttocks. Forever.”
redjuice

“One good thing: at least abject horror killed arousal fairly swiftly. Or else he'd be terrified and embarrassed all at the same time, and that was too much for anyone.”
Once Upon A Stormy Life by cara del sol

“Somewhere around chapter 3, I began to twig to the fact that I wasn't being consistent with the canon in a couple of other picayune ways, the most obvious of which was that I was not capitalizing the way they do in the books. But there is a part of me that says the capitalization is out of control in the books. Why is Muggle always capitalized, but wizard not? Why is Quidditch capitalized, as is Quaffle, Snitch, etc... when for example cricket (and bat and ball) are not? Why does Invisibility Cloak always appear in caps--is it a brand name? “So I started teaching some of these capitalizations to my spellchecker. Unfortunately as the document got longer, Microsoft Word eventually decided there were so many spelling questions, it would no longer check as I went along. And here's something interesting. Dumbledore was *already* in the Word dictionary. But when I tried to get it to accept Voldemort, it crashed. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Spellchecked.”
Ravena C. Tan

“You think this is some kind of game? I'm not gonna let you just waltz around here like some kid in a candy store.”
“Let me be honest with you, Detective. I used to work in a candy store, and it's nothing like this.”
Psych

“In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.”
The Game by Neil Strauss

“I’d take this phone over magic, any day. I can use it to call anyone in the world. It can take pictures. It’s connected to the internet so I can look up any information I want, or buy things... I can pretty much arrange my whole life with this one, simple gadget. And - so can anyone else. The technological revolution is world-wide, and it’s changing the world, connecting it, helping it move forward. Magic doesn’t. Magic is static, and only ever helps the few who can wield it. OK, so I get that it’s useful for fighting bad guys, but tell me one thing that magic has done in the last century that has improved life for ordinary people - the way, say, the washing machine has.”
My Immortal, by elisi

“There's something downright Monty Python about the neck thing; I just can't take it seriously.
‘Look, Shinji! I got better!’
‘Got better? I cut your head off!’
‘It was only a flesh wound!’”
Anonymous (on Shinji and Kaworu from Eva)

“No, Moslems don't believe that Jesus was teh messiah.
“Think of it like a movie. The Torah is the first one, and the New Testament is the sequel. Then the Qu'ran comes out, and it retcons the last one like it never happened. There's still Jesus, but he's not the main character anymore, and the messiah hasn't shown up yet.
“Jews like the first movie but ignored the sequels, Christians think you need to watch the first two, but the third movie doesn't count, Moslems think the third one was the best, and Mormons liked the second one so much they started writing fanfiction that doesn't fit with ANY of the series canon.”
RandomFerret

“Nine times out of ten you will never end up with your ideal woman, even if you meet her along the way.
“Love is a measure of importance, not turn ons. Even if she makes you HNNGGG, that feeling isn't mutual and will never be, especially if you obsess over her. There are many many women you will meet in your life, some of which may not interest you at first but over time you'll feel a bond with them enough to pursue something more. Just work on your life waiting for that moment instead of stalking some chick you will never have a relationship with unless you intend to rape her.
“To make matters simple, just rape her. Given your background and situation, they will never suspect you. She's also Asian and is most likely surrounded by an Asian family; during rape cases, when women are raped by a foreign race to them, they have extreme difficulty actually remembering facial features. To top it off, the cops really won't give two shits about her case enough to pursue you. You already have her daily routes and are close to discovering her daily routine entirely, so by closely analyzing the surroundings to-and-from you can easily get a picture of where you can snatch her away and take her to plow it into her unsuspecting, virgin hole. Just make sure to bring an extra sock and stuff it in her mouth, she won't be able to spit it out, scream, or bite you.”
Anonymous

Lead: “Magic. Pure magic, that's what you just witnessed. I feel special; so ... should you... No, seriously though, we, we Eve 6 definitely don't condone or promote masturbation in any way. We definitely don't do it ourselves; I personally find it ... disgusting, to be -- y'know? It just grosses me out; I just don't get it. Maybe if I got it that would be one thing, but I don't ... I don't understand it.”
Backup: “I think you speak for all of us.”
Live recording of I Touch Myself by Eve 6

“True greatness is a side-effect of passionately following one's heart. It is never a goal, in and of itself. And often, the acts that make us great are not the ones we would have expected. Sometimes they are not even ones we would willingly make, had we any other choice.”
A Necessary Evil by kai

Anon1: “If I ever hear anybody use the term "TwenCen" to refer to the twentieth century, I will have to go medieval on your ass (yes, yours, as I highly doubt anyone sane would use such a term on their own, so if anyone else does, I declare it your fault and your fault alone).
“Or maybe Napoleonic on your ass. At a stretch, Victorian or Elizabethan. At any rate, it certainly wouldn't be some sissy TwenCen on your ass. Those people were pansies.”
Anon2: “I was wondering what the fuck TwenCen meant until I read your post, though now I wish I hadn't. That word is so much more annoying now that I know what it means. Thanks.”
Anon3: “I thought it sounded like a rapper: FifCen's younger brother, TwenCen.”
Anonymous

“When I started my professional work in mathematics in 1960, which is not so long ago, modern mathematics in its entirety -- in its entirety -- was rejected by physicists, including the most avant-garde mathematical physicists. So differential dynamics, global analysis, manifolds of mappings, differential geometry -- everything just a year or two beyond what Einstein had used -- was all rejected. The romance between mathematicians and physicists had ended in divorce in the 1930s. These people were no longer speaking. They simply despised each other. Mathematical physicists refused their graduate students permission to take math courses from mathematicians: Take mathematics from us. We will teach you what you need to know. The mathematicians are on some kind of terrible ego trip and they will destroy your mind.”
Ralph Abraham

“Love is built upon trust. [...] We cannot trust you, who fear you. If we fear that you will violate us, it does not matter why; we simply cannot trust you.”
Wolf by colibri

“If you pray to the Empire State building, you'll get results. You'll get -- half these prayers will be answered, and half of them won't. And if you can just be satisfied that life is 50-50 yes and no, you can believe in anything and just sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself.”
George Carlin

“There are two things to remember when you're begging for your life: to keep the person holding the gun entertained, and to give that person enough reason to be convinced. And you haven't fulfilled either one. Now, dance! What obligation do I have to save you?”
Black Lagoon

“Creationists argue that speciation has never been seen. Here's part of a December 31, 2008, posting by Jonathan Wells on the Web site of the antithetically named Discovery Institute: ‘Darwinism depends on the splitting of one species into two, which then diverge and split and diverge and split, over and over again, to produce the branching-tree pattern required by Darwin's theory. And this sort of speciation has never been observed.’
“The claim makes me think of the trial where a man was charged with biting off another man's ear in a bar fight. (Incredibly, Mike Tyson was not involved.) An eyewitness to the fracas took the stand. The defense attorney asked, ‘Did you actually see with your own eyes my client bite off the ear in question?’ The witness said, ‘No.’ The attorney pounced: ‘So how can you be so sure that the defendant actually bit off the ear?’ To which the witness replied, ‘I saw him spit it out.’ We have the fossils, the intermediate forms, the comparative anatomy, the genomic homologies - we've seen what evolution spits out.”
Steve Mirsky

“Quit calling yourself a god! What kind of god would destroy everything?”
One Piece

“Every human being is composed of only a few significant elements, but no amount of investigation into the properties of the orderings of the collections of quantum particles which are named (in English) Carbon, Hydrogen and Iron will allow you to understand New York. Or Mozart, for that matter.
“You can't even see the emergent properties that arise from complex things, unless you look at them from the appropriate point of view.”
Chaos: Making a New Science by James Gleick

“One philosopher asserted that he knew the whole secret ... He surveyed the two celestial strangers from tip to toe, and maintained to their faces that their persons, their worlds, their sums, and their stars were created solely for the use of man.
“At this assertion our two travelers let themselves fall against each other in a fit of ... inextinguishable laughter.”
Voltaire

“They may be bigger than you and they may be better than you, but you don't ever have to let them be meaner than you.”
Chima Baifeng Shengshan Chun by Eric Hallstrom

“The Atheist does not say ‘There is no God,’ but he says, ‘I know not what you mean by God; I am without idea of God; the word God is to me a sound conveying no clear or distinct affirmation. I do not deny God, because I cannot deny that of which I have no conception’ especially when even those who believe in the thing cannot even define it.”
Charles Bradlaugh

“In science it often happens that scientists say, ‘You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,’ and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.”
Carl Sagan

“No one's dead until you see the body. And sometimes not even then.”
Robin (Tim Drake)

“Oh my god Thorfinn you adorable failbot; I love that he has no clue whatsoever how to process emotions that aren't "I HATE YOU I HATE YOU DIE DIE DIE" or "meh".”
Poddleduck

nyxmidnight: “[It would be the] END OF TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMES [if netspeak came to be fully integrated into formal english] (what, I'm Quebecker and kinda old school).”
ariseishirou: “But why? It isn't even your language we're destroying ;p (Although I destroy french privately in my own home all the time >_>”
nyxmidnight: “I hate when people destroy a language, period. LANGUAGES ARE PRETTY, AND COOL, AND AWESOME. USE THEM CORRECTLY OR GTFO.”
ariseishirou: “I agree that they are cool and awesome BUT IT IS IN THEIR NATURE TO CHANGE. THEY CHANGE, OR THEY DIE.”
junpei_iori: “Agreed completely, but still. Some things are just... not meant to be used orally.”
ariseishirou: “...Is what I said to the guy I hooked up with last night.”

“I'm just curious as to why the vampire who is suppose to be suffering gets to find love and the slayer who was ripped from paradise CAN'T fall in love.”
Tygerlily

“If all of your friends are morons is it a felony, a misdemeaner, or an act of God if you blow their fucking heads off with a thirty-eight magnum?”
American Psycho

“Some say Man is the most dangerous animal on the planet; obiously they have never met an angry cat.”
Anonymous

“THIS IS NOT FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuckers have hacked me!!!”
Jimmy Orthanc

“There are two eternal truths to be found in any fairy tale. One, somewhere there is a grain of truth to be found in every story. And two, while there is ample room for violent gory death, hot gay sex scenes must be ruthlessly cut.”
ntamara

“Hope is a lying bitch.”
Anita Blake

“Life /is/ like a box of chocolates ... but not Forrest Gump's version.”
Za Metallium

“Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup, or an English Toffee. But they're gone too fast - the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. If you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a ... is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers.”
The Cancer Man

“Mercy is for losers.”
Bastard!

“Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.' He might not have one.”
Long's notes

“A man said to the universe, ‘Sir, I exist!’ ‘However,’ replied the universe, ‘the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation.’”
Stephen Crane

“Maybe this world is another planet's hell.”
Aldous Huxley

“And he was so afraid. But the angel said, fear not; though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I've got tacos, so it's all good.”
ChibiMazoku

“Help, I have been shot; don't let the ship's doctor amputate my face.”
spinooti

“I love pirates, because how many other rapists/pillagers/murderers make the little five-year-old inside your heart go 'YAAAAAAAY'”
spinooti

“*Please note!* This site may contain the following: spoilers, lewd comments, unlabeled shoujo ai, typos, strange opinions, japanese, French, English, swearing, gibberish, rambling, mazoku, citrus, cute little ascii faces, egotism, blatent character favoritism, non-canon pairings, militant Shiori-loathing, the word "rather," silly nicknames, angst, long words, vagueness, Kopii Eris, in-jokes, superfulous quotes, ranting, abuse of the /-chan/ honorific, quid pro quo, lack of repetitive disclaimers, unfinished fics, 'fickle meaness,' a mix of American and European spelling, excessive use of song lyrics, typos, enigmaticness, self-indulgence, semicolons, chibis, words that probably do not really exist, lethally cute critters, pro-'villain' attitudes, and all-around pointlessness.”
Za Metallium

“Why does everyone go on living knowing they'll end up dying anyway?”
Revolutionary Girl Utena

“A person who truly believes in friendship is a fool.”
Revolutionary Girl Utena

ASH: “Hey, that's cheating!”
JESSE: “Well *I'm* a cheater!”
Pokemon

Intuition is not something that is given. I've trained my intuition to accept as obvious shapes which were initially rejected as absurd, and I find everyone else can do the same.”
Szolem Mandelbrot

OX KING: “What was *Goku* doing during all of this?”
ROSHI: “...dying...mostly...”
Dragon Ball Z (manga)

“Those of you who say you've never done anything wrong, raise your hand! Okay, the one who just raised your hand, you've just become a bad person called a liar!”
Bakuretsu Hunters

“Unmei no baka! Kami-sama no baka! Baka baka baka baka bakabakabaka! Watakushi no baka!!”
Saber Marionette J

“ANIME: drugs would be cheaper.”
bumper sticker

“I'm donating blood to support my anime habit.”
Vickie

“Pikachu, Mokona, ChuChu -- they must never be allowed to cross-breed.”
Za Metallium

“'Itachi' is japanese slang for the 'boy' in a lesbian relationship. Misao is called 'itachi-musume.' Hmm...”
Za Metallium

“Do not taunt the cabbit.
“Or the pikachu.
“In fact, don't taunt /any/thing cute.
“Ever.”
Za Metallium

“I have done it!! I have become a NERD!!! I pledge the sacred nerd pledge, upon my implements of shower cap and prescription foot insoles, as well as my mental knowledge of web design and my ongoing desire to see more, more EVER MORE dvd commentaries, my sacred trust in the Internet, accept me nerd brethren!!! It is better to rush upon this electrically charged fiberoptic cable than to enter the secret chat room with fear in my heart. How do I enter? With Perfect DOS and Word Perfect!”
Coolestchick8000

“‘Rule No. 1: Know thy enemy?’ he asked.
“I nodded.
“There's just one problem with that rule, as shown by his case: sometimes, when you know your enemy, you find that he's no longer your enemy.
“God damned rules. They never work the way they're supposed to.”
Changes by minty fresh socks

“Nothing is fixed; nothing is permanent. In the end, all things must change, must be destroyed only to be made anew. Everything is flux. Stone crumbles, writing fades. The only thing to stay the same is change itself.”
Master and Servant, by Evenstar

“Love is drunk and love is blind.”
kaleidoscope

“>>Hey, Draco, do you mind? The boys and I got together and took a vote and well, we all want you to kill yourself.<<”
The voices in Draco's head in A Very Interesting Christmas Break, by Lady Doncaster

“Pain is how I live my poor deluded boy, don't fret, your flesh tastes so sweet in me, pain is how we survive, pain defines me, you define me.”
Trash, by MiniMe

“Sometimes destiny is crueler than you can imagine. And sometimes, pain is the kiss of life.”
Trash, by MiniMe

“Some people say I must be a horrible person. That's not true. I have the heart of a young boy. In a jar, on my desk.”
Stephen King

“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'”
Isaac Asimov

“There are two ways to fight insanity, to bury it, or to embrace it. Although the latter sounds foolhardy, it is the former that is the worst. For once repressed it can grow, consume, decimate the faculties of reason until all that lies within is either a bush, or the maddest mind that a soul can have...
“But to embrace it, one must walk the razors edge, where the slightest bump can send you over and help must be supplied for one to conquer it, outlets and support. And yet to conquer it you must understand it, to do that you must let it overwhelm you, and you truly do need help to do this.”
Mind and Bodies, by MiniMe

“Shame is something that can rule you, fear of embarrassment can create warped holes that are easy to manipulate, it is amazing what people can be pressured into doing for fear of being different.”
Mind and Bodies, by MiniMe

“And for a second the ice melted and he saw what he was, and then it slammed back into him full force.”
Mind and Bodies, by MiniMe

“‘Come on babe, just cruise, if it hurts make it ice.’ Harry said calmly, he took a drag on the cigarette and let the chemicals calm and sooth his body, smooth ice, fallen angel, he decided he liked himself.”
Mind and Bodies, by MiniMe

“There is nothing scarier than those that seem to have absolute control, but you can hear the very insanity underneath their voice that signifies they don't.”
Mind and Bodies, by MiniMe

“Sometimes you can never take a step back, sometimes you can never look back.
“Sometimes fate can be very cruel.
“Sometimes shit happens.
“But then again sometimes, not often but sometimes-
“There's a second chance.”
Mind and Bodies, by MiniMe

“You know anime uses stock cliches when... You can tell someone is a ninja just by the way they wear their hair-spikes.”
ariseishirou

“Addiction is a tricky thing. The term itself is a dangerous, ambiguous one: it comes from the Latin /addere/ -- to devote, to deliver over. When the Romans spoke of addiction, they were talking of debtors and creditors. Appropriate, perhaps, in a world of deals with junkies, but I have always felt its closer kinship to a-diction - 'without speech.' Silent, subtle, unnoticed. The need that creeps into the mouths of so-called casual users, despite their assurances that they can handle it. They'll never be caught.
“What is the line between enjoyment and dependence? When does proclivity cross to need? Often, we are told that an addict is someone who cannot stop himself, but how then do we have recovered addicts, treatment centers, support groups? We hear than an addict cannot see joy in the world without his drug, and yet many men are just as unhappy having never touched it. An addict, they say, goes through severe symptoms of withdrawal once his usage is cut off.
“Cannabis is not physically addicting. Nor is LSD. Nor is alcohol, unless one wants to count the hangover. And yet we have stoners, acidheads, and alcoholics.
“This struggle to define addiction is not a new one. As early as 6000 BC, opium was derived from the poppy, and it enjoyed widespread use in Ancient Greece. The appeal of an opiate is readily apparent; it produces an indescribable wave of euphoria. All pain - mental and physical - disappears, and for two hours you love yourself - really and truly love yourself - just as you are. The world is rosy, and you are charming. Confident. Energized. Impassioned. You catch a glimpse of what could be, and never want to return.”
Chasing the Dragon, by Romie

“Take my hate; embrace it. And suffer for your love.”
Devil's Heaven, Angel's Hell, by lord of the ramen

“The potential to suffer is intrinsic to life.”
Once upon a time there were Heroes, by The Rebellious Observer

“Of course I read the text sir, I even did it upside down. I feel it best to be able to read any which way. You never know what situation you could find yourself in. You might be hanging upside down, and it was essential ......”
Some Moment, by Calmardaa

“This, too, shall pass.”
?

“This is going to be a nice object lesson. For I am so very hungry and feel malevolent, and have spot checks of the plant to do tonight. I know which module had lunch before I went up there. I am going to crucify them.
“Next time you steal someone's fucking lunch, make sure it isn't the QA technician, asshole.”
ariseishirou

“I think we should practise Imperious a bit more. And maybe loads of sex should be part of my plan. Cementing loyalties and all of that.”
Reap the Bitter Fruit, by Patchfire

“It still all boils down to sex, in the long run, doesn't it though? Power and control are merely heady, mind-based aphrodiasiacs.”
Reap the Bitter Fruit, by Patchfire

“‘Are we bonding?’
“It was time to face facts. ‘I think so.’
“‘Damn it.’
“He patted Harry on the shoulder. ‘I still hate your music, though.’”
Monsters In My Head, by Granitite Stone

“I can understand my fear of love ... but I can't understand yours.”
Corrosive, by Midnight Star and DragonFire

“Can you love a mirror in all its perfection?
“Can a mirror love you back?”
Corrosive, by Midnight Star and DragonFire

“Well, of course my lover was here to kill me! Why else would he come to see me in the middle of summer vacation?”
Whispers in the Dark, by Cephied Variable

“I am pleased to add that Voldemort actually found the situation hilarious when he read it. I don't know whether that is a bad thing or a good thing but I thought I should inform you.”
Magnetic Attraction, by frizzy

“Harry was talking about himself in the third person. Not a good sign.”
Flawed Lines, by diagonalist

“Well why were you cutting yourself then? If you were doing it for fun then that's way more crazy than trying to kill yourself.”
Flawed Lines, by diagonalist

“When they come to the chess set looking for excitement, that says something about their lives, Hmmm?”
Flawed Lines, by diagonalist

“It will never be enough. You can never please everyone else. So just do what matters to you.”
Flawed Lines, by diagonalist

“Many thought the wizarding world was a place of great acceptance. That was a fairy tale. And being a gay werewolf? He wasn't liked by many people.”
Hungry Like the Wolf, by Granitite Stone

“If you thought Veritaserum tasted like shit, try the antidote.”
When Under Goodness Wicked Lies, by Maeglin

“Love your enemies; in case your friends turn out to be total bastards.”
Anonymous

“Nothing is forever.”
Dead Roman guy

“To read is human, to review divine!”
RaNdOm Hp FaN

“Conscience commands; love inspires. What we do out of love, we do because we want to do it. Love is, indeed, one kind of desire; but it is a kind that takes us out of ourselves and carries us beyond ourselves, in contrast to the kind that is self-seeking-a kind that includes the desire for the 'extinguishedness' of Nirvana.”
A.J. Toynbee

“Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'”
Erich Fromm

“Love's authority, like conscience's, is absolute. Like conscience, too, love needs no authentication or validation by any authority outside itself. Speculations about love's credentials, or lack of credentials, cannot either enhance or diminish love's absoluteness.”
A.J. Toynbee

“When I say ‘well, describe to me how you expect GMOs will effect the surrounding ecology more than legal pesticides’ to some Humanities' student standing by the fountain at UVic with a megaphone screaming about the ills of modern biotechnology, and I get some garbled answer from whatever protest pamphlet they read most recently and I proceed to tear it to shreds, they seem to have no response besides the fact that my ‘opinion is invalid because I work in that field of science and thus gain by it's progression’. When I say ‘I wasn't giving you an opinion, I was stating scienctific fact’, this translates to ‘I am now using my elitist insider knoweldge to blind you to the true horrors of my technology’. (Which can occaisonally lead to the humourous labelling, much like Randy only better, that I have inherent bias as a white male and my power and the growth of technology are linked. Which is most excellent, because then I ask why I should listen to the opinion on someone who would erroneously assume my sex simply because my modes of dress and mannerisms are closer to the conformist notions of 'masculine'. Or, for double shame, based on my discipline.)
“It's frustrating, especially when the simplest solution for them would be to subject themselves to the same 'patriarchal pro-technology propaganda' and take Biochemistry 102 to make less of an ass of themselves to those who know anything about it, perhaps and see that scientists and programmers and engineers aren't all capitalist, right-wing conservative males.
“Snk. Those would be all the science professors.”
ariseishirou

“Good god, stop me before I start writing about Fate in terms of variables...”
ariseishirou

“If he can hate me, he can go on. It's the mourning that kills us.”
Even Lovers Drown, by Kenna Hijja

“I've warned you, young Potter, I've wanted you to join me to rule the world and the whole of Middle Earth (o_O``), but you, as senseless, as stupid and foolish as your parents wouldn't listen! You! You stupid boy would rather join Gandulf no matter how many times your grandmother, which is me if you happened to don't know, (-_-``) tells you and pleads you to have tea with her, which is me, as we talk out the plans of how to destroy and conquer the world! You there, little dense prick would rather play the goodie-goodie part of the character hero and throw the ring into the fires of Mordor! (O.o\ *scratched head* doesn't that sound familiar?) We! Could have been great partners, and every night, you could have asked me this- ‘So, Voldie, what are we going to do tonight?’ and I, the ever mighty would say. ‘Like what we do every night.. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! MWAHAHAHAH... MWAHAHAHAh!!!!!’”
An Innocent Potter and the Possessive Malfoy, by LittleBerry

“Didn't your mum tell you never to look at the sun or it'd blind you? But don't fret, dearest, I can make you see again.”
Meant To Be, by Natalia

“Who said love was pretty?”
Tigerlily Blood

“It was your necks fault, it shouldn't have broken so easily.”
The Way of a Malfoy, by Relle

“Is this what having friends does to you? He wondered miserably. It leaves you open, leaves you vulnerable - used to trusting in people and expecting them to be there for you? Why does anyone do it?”
Faith, by Dragongirl

“We recognize best that which is a reflection of ourselves.”
Somwhat Damaged, by WolfHawk

“I don't know about god or heaven, but I believe in hell because otherwise we wouldn't be so afraid to die.”
Somewhat Damaged, by WolfHawk

“As tempting as I admit it might be, why is every alchemist in the world trying to ressurect someone?
“Show some self-restraint here guys. We all die someday.”
ariseishirou

“Hunger is a woman who lives inside me, buried in my veins and caught in my blood. Like a litany, like a mantra, like a disease. A disease nothing can free me from. There is no super-drug. Take some of these twice a day sir; you'll be fine, take these the pain will go go go. No amount of medicine will rid me of her taint her bite her stain. Her talons dig into me, harpy-sharp. I can feel her clawing me out, purifying me. She embraces her sister Death and together they dance a merry jig across my brittle skeleton. My skin becomes thin, I feel her smile. My hair falls out, she strokes my face. Throwing up again and again and again, I hear her raucous laughter.
“Dying, I feel her grow.
“I'm trying, Christ but I'm trying, to murder her and silence her laughter forever, but she's so slippery (with the blood of my thousand deaths) and I can't seem to pin her down long enough to slit her fucking harpy's throat.”
Somewhat Damaged, by WolfHawk

“Sticks and stones
“may break my bones
“but words will maim my soul...”
Snape Manor, by Neous

“He laughed evilly for a moment before breaking down and giggling like a schoolgirl.”
All This Time, You Were Missing From My Heart, by Sandra Solaria Dees

“Anyone who says that battle is a glorious thing was obviously insane.”
Blood, by Artemis Luna Diana

“As I am the Oujo of Justice, and since I like cabbage, and you do not, I declare you to be a warrior of injustice!!! A battle will now ensue!!!!”
The Bigger They Are, by Nova-chan

“In all the twists and turns of human emotions in the universe, one thing never changes: fear. Even when it's all done, finished, fear still remains. It lingers in the depths of the mind, dark black voids which memory skims over. And only when the sparks of the daily conscience at the surface have dimmed does fear arise. It builds through the void and escapes in spurts, vomiting pestilence all over a vulnerable and tender mind invoking panic, and power, beyond control.”
Shrine To Dreamtime, by Phayze

“There is a point in everyone's life when they wake up and realize that the world they live is not what they believe it to be. Soon they begin to follow their own path. But God forbid that the new future does not comply with the old one mapped out before them. God forbid they do not obey. Then which one do they choose? Which path promises the most success, happiness, and love? What do they follow? Their heart, their mind, or someone else's will?”
Shrine To Dreamtime, by Phayze

“There is no such thing as clean porn!”
Carrigon

“So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald ... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a 10,000-foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga ... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.”
Bill Murray, Caddyshack

“I really dont see why you want to call me a sicko while I cut off your hands. You're the one that punched me when I said I loved you, remember? You're the one that got off on rape, even though you could have easily not read the story - oops, I mean, pushed me off.”
True Love, part ii: Cut My Hands Off, Baby, by Coolestchick

“‘It is better to be the right hand of the Devil than in his path, that is what you taught me, isn't it?’ Harry mused on this. Voldemort remained silent, but held his own wand, ready to react. ‘And tell me, father,’ Harry continued. ‘Where would you cry 'stop'? Is there no one you wouldn't give him, is there nothing sacred, not your own son?’”
Consilium Callidus, by Lady K. d'Azrael

“He looked up to the house on the hill and sighed. ‘Oh what a pitiful inheritance. Somehow when he was here we were all impressed by his presence, but take away his glamours and what have we now? Nothing. An empty, dusty house. He was just an insubstantial threat. Even his knowledge was not very great. Was that his power, do you think? The confidence trick?’”
Consilium Callidus, by Lady K. d'Azrael

“Whatever happened to adopting a 'live and let live' policy?”
Kat

“Jeez, ya learn something new every day (if you're not careful).”
Kat

“Cordelia has grown greatly as a person since she moved to Los Angeles. She is no longer merely a self-serving, shallow bitch. She has expanded her mind and become a champion, a protector of justice who puts others first. She... aw, hell, you're right. It *is* unbelievable. But it's still true.”
Balance, by Kelso

“How dare you wear white! I hear what you do at night!”
Agnes Skinner, The Simpsons

“There can be a lot of power in madness. You get too close to it and...”
Slytherin In the End, by Withset

“The relationship between the owner and the object of ownership is strong. One wouldn't want to see their favorite toy being touched by another. One wouldn't want to see that toy being slowly pulled apart when they spent so much time on it. When that happens, the owner becomes possessive and takes what is theirs back. They once again spend time to fix what was broken.
“For a broken toy isn't as fun to play with.”
Puppet Master, by Genki

crazylittleme: “How the hell am I supposed to angst when I'm laughing at you? :P”
areishiro: “...Think of the Posterboy. Then you will know the way.”
crazylittleme: “Right, I'm going to have to find someone to murder my sister... but what am I going to do with my brother?”
areishiro: “...Have some kind of ambiguously sexual relationship with him?”
crazylittleme and ariseishirou (think CLAMP)

“If you ask a person if they can remember anything from their early years, say when they were nothing but a baby, you'd get a blink and a shrug. Ask them about their childhood and you'd get broken answers. Faded memories trying to turn into vivid technique colors again. No one remembers their childhood clearly. Broken pieces of memories that, without the help of family members, will forever remain broken. As like painful memories. The mind of a child who has seen far too many things will repress things such as that from his mind.
“He will forget the pain and the suffering.
“He will only remember the joy and the love.
“Only if there were any to began with.”
Puppet Master, by Genki

“The dictionary defines sane as 'mentally sound and healthy'. It defines insane as 'exhibiting serious and debilitating mental disorder'. Who are we to say who is sane and insane? How does one become insane? Does hearing voices in your head not belonging to yours mean you're insane?
“Maybe those who we called insane are actually sane. Maybe they see something no one else can see, or rather, refuses to see. Maybe they see the truth in everything. The human mind cannot handle truth. Truth is like the sun. One cannot look at it straight in the eye without blinking or being blinded.
“So does that mean it is truth itself that drives one to insanity?”
Puppet Master, by Genki

“One would think that Heaven was a place of endless spring and angels walking around in blinding white togas, chatting lightly under the cover of beautiful trees with boughs full of delicate blooms and lounging about on cushions laid out under the sun, sipping elegantly from crystal goblets filled with ambrosia. One would hardly imagine angels in dark brown suits, magnificent dark blue wings protruding from the back and fluttering slightly in the dank heat of an ancient office building.”
Abandoned, by WolfPilot06

“Yes, one day I will come to the realization that these aren't real people in actuality, but until then I shall revel in my fantasy world where they DO exist! ^.~”
Saiyajin-Raven69

“Who made the bigger sacrifice for your forgiveness? And remember that Judas repented for betraying Jesus, but Jesus was repeatedly an asshole and made no apologies.
“Judas knew that Jesus was a big man, a carpenter. He also knew Jesus was the son of God and had many powers. Despite this, Judas stood up to him and betrayed him. That takes guts. That takes courage. Jesus never stood up to the people who persecuted him, doing little more than spouting off condescending holier-than-thou remarks (eg. ‘forgive them, they know not what they do’). For Judas to stand up to such a powerful creature, he himself had to be of some substantial size and power. He had to know that he would be able to take Jesus down if Jesus were to start a fight over the betrayal. Then, after the betrayal, Jesus was killed, while Judas was not killed until he decided to end his own life.
“Who do you want to be your savior? A whiny guy that suffered three hours and went to heaven or a man that was willing to endure pain and torment FOREVER in hell for you? The choice is clear.”
What Would Jesus Do?

“The last hour has been a blur of chocolate and cigarettes, cigarettes and chocolate. I would kill for a chocolate cigarette right now.”
“You're not thinking rationally.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You're about to light a tootsie roll.”
Prophecy Girl

“Frankly, if you don't have people willing to give a rat's ass about your, when you're in a cave and have to live off rats cause you're trapped, you'll starve, you know?”
Coolestchick

“I guess you never know what's going on in someone else's head, do you?”
Something to Live For - Alternate Ending, by Accio Snape

“I promised him that I would not take my own life, and that I would accept your friendship. You promised to offer it to me. I'm accepting, and as a friend, I'm asking you to do me a favor. Kill me.”
Something to Live For - Alternate Ending, by Accio Snape

“He was a monster: yes. But I loved him nonetheless. I can love a monster. Just as I can love death. Just as I can love you, little god of death.”
In the Ashes of Jericho, by Vain

“Hisoka just stood there, stunned. Sir Tsuzuki was having his clothes ripped off by an invisible assailant, and the cactus was going to go marry the princess? Didn't anyone want to rape him anymore? He was ten times a better uke than Sir Tsuzuki. This whole situation was just wrong.”
A Yami no Matsuei Fairy Tale, by Plate-chan

“Look Muraki! See my thin waist? See my small ass? See my pert little nipples? Take me instead! I'm a WAY better uke! And I scream like a girl!”
A Yami no Matsuei Fairy Tale, by Plate-chan

“‘I, Sir Tsuzuki, have come to rescue you, and make you my bride.’
“‘Oh that's great...except one thing.’
“The princess lifted up her skirt.
“‘Oh.... Even better!!!!!’”
A Yami no Matsuei Fairy Tale, by Plate-chan

“Describe, using diagrams where appropriate, the exact circumstances leading to your death.”
Grant Naylor

“Temporary insanity can be a valid defense mechanism.”
It Really Was a Family Affair, by Withset

“You love me and you hate me. One part of you shies from my connections, my ambitions, while at the same moment the rest of you yearns to taste darkness. It must be quite a battle that goes on inside your head...”
(Branded), by Augustus

“Sir, could you stop twinkling? It's really annoying and it's really not as endearing as you think it is.”
Book of Shadows, by Lux

“I might be crazy, but who ever had fun being sane anyway?”
Book of Shadows, by Lux

“Misery may love company but insanity does not.”
Distorted Lullabies, by Lux

“You can not make Peace with War, but, ironically, you can make War with Peace.”
Anonymous

“Human beings aren't as complicated animals as it would seem. For example when one hears a scream, the natural reaction is, though it is totally illogical, is to go and check what might have caused it. Therefore about 98% of the world's population would go in the direction of that hypothetical scream. Another 2% of the world's population would quickly go away in just the opposite direction. Those facts prove the theory that civilization and curiosity have managed to kill even the smallest remains of survival instinct in human, or rather in most of them.”
Green Eyed Soul, by sayaa

“No human would wish to be forgotten. No human would go through life and not want someone, if only one person, to remember their place in the world. It is the wish of every person to have their friends and family remember them when they are gone. It is the wish of every man, woman and child to be remembered by the ones they loved.
“For if they are remembered, they will continue to live on in the memories of their beloved.
“It is a lonely thing to be forgotten. It is a sad and tragic thing to not be remembered.
“Who would want to be completely forgotten? Who would want to be looked over by those they considered their family and friends?
“No one.
“No human would wish to be forgotten because every human has the wish to live forever.”
Puppet Master, by gaki

“Human beings truly are interesting creatures. While having the desire to be saved, they would still rather be left alone in their misery rather than to be hurt once again.”
Puppet Master, by gaki

“You are writing children's books, you need to be a ruthless killer.”
J. K. Rowling

“You never know power until you can strike fear into the heart of your enemy.”
Delicious As Sin, by PinkSunRise

“I looked down so I could glare at the floor. I should bloody well have known I'd be related to my greatest enemy's hero.”
Nullifier, by Aedalena

“Graciousness was key. Lick boots now, stomp on them later.”
Nullifier, by Aedalena

“‘Anything else?’ he asks as he opens the door.
“Inwardly I giggle. What could I tell him?
“I'm horny.
“I feel like singing, crying, yelling, whispering, loving, hating.
“I'm going to go kill myself now.
“‘Not really.’”
Sakura Soul, by Lothlorien

“Why do you look at me with such hurt eyes? I'm sure I haven't done anything this time. Well, I might forget whatever sin I've committed right after doing it, and I even need Oriya to count my victims for me, but when it comes to you, I never forget.
“Every little wound...
“Every drop of blood...
“Every single tear...
“As long as I was the one who did it to you, I will definitely remember.”
Chance, by empath-no-tenshi

“‘I am Kena Warfel Tomasin, and I can prove that Akatosh, Nirn, and Oblivion are one,’ said Warfel, writing out the mathematical formula that showed it was so.
“‘I am Kena Zombel Mokafa, and I can prove that you do not exist,’ said Oin. He wrote out the mathematical formula, which proved correct, and Kena Warfel Tomasin vaporized on the spot.”
The Four Suitors of Benitah, by Jole Yolivess (The Elder Scrolls)

Gunn: “I've got a plan.”
Wesley: “Oh thank god! What is it?”
Gunn: “We die horribly and painfully, you go to hell and I spend eternity in the arms of baby Jesus.”
Angel

Angel: “Krv... drplgr... I know these words. These are the words we used to open up the portals.”
Fred: “They're not words. They're consonant representations of a mathematical transfiguration formula.”
[pause]
Angel: “Well, obviously.”
Angel

“Dreams aren't supposed to last forever.”
Wit'ch Gate, by James Clemens

“We've been raided by a bunch of blokes in cloaks, carrying wands. Probably wizards, possibly a student rag week stunt, and there's an outside chance we've been infiltrated by the Russians. They've taken nothing, but they've left the place in a bit of a mess. So let's say they were looking for something, but didn't find it ...”
“No ... let's say I'm the randy traffic cop, and you're the speeding dishwasher repair man ...”
“Draco!”
“You can be the cop?””
Snitch!, by Al

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
Herm Albright

“Thoughts can lie ... you can keep on thinking of one thing forever even if it's not true.”
Please Set Me Free, by empath-no-tenshi

“You can only be betrayed by those you trust and love.
“You can only be betrayed if you trust. If you love.”
Please Set Me Free, by empath-no-tenshi

“Gendo glared. ‘Captain Katsuragi, if Shinji does not pilot, than all humanity is doomed.’
“‘It's already dead if we let that wacko pilot a fifty foot robot, retard! He just killed Rei for fun! What do you think he'll do with the Angel?!’
“‘Do not worry about the pilot Captain,’ stressed Gendo. ‘He knows that if the Angel made contact, a Third Impact will occur. So naturally he would think-’
“‘HE'D THINK IT WAS AWESOME!’”
NGE Theater, by WDCain

“For a brief moment he lived the lucid dream that was freedom from insanity, and then, as according to the laws of physics, he swung back hard to the other side.”
Mind and Bodies, by MiniMe

“Never underestimate the power of the dark side.”
Hidden Power, by WDCain

“Any country can handle a dictator for a leader as long as he pleases the majority of the people.”
The Kingpin of Japan, by WDCain

“Trust and communication are the keys. If you still have both, no matter which way your personal relationship turns you will continue to work perfectly together.”
Draco Malfoy and the Heart of Slytherin, by Sabershadow Kitten

“Better to play and lose than to be bored out of my bloody skull again.”
Draco Malfoy and the Heart of Slytherin, by Sabershadow Kitten

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
Napoleon Bonaparte

“To hunt the dark, we must become it. Don't fall too far, though. There is no salvation.”
Where Angels Fear To Tread, by Stick Marionette

Buffy: “Do we really need weapons for this?”
Spike: “I just like them. They make me feel all manly.”
Buffy: the Vampire Slayer

“Death is merely a state, not a limitation.”
NyteDancer

“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”
Katharine Hepburn

“If I die, I forgive you. If I recover, we shall see.”
Spanish proverb

“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
Mark Twain

“Death: The High Cost of Living.”
Neil Gaiman

inu_chan: “Poor Subaru. Even I managed to get killed today by Setsuka. Subaru gets no Sakurazukamori death-love at all.”
areishiro: “No, none at all. He may only give, rather than receive. Although according to some religions, they're one and the same! So, in a way, he's like Sakurazukamori Jesus!”
inu_chan: “Sakurazukamori Jesus .... *IMAGE*
“........ ohgodmybrainghurts”
areishiro: “You will accept the Flowery Redemption of Christ in return for your Immortal Soul!”
kaitou_marina: “Why does everyone wind up like Jesus? XD”
areishiro: “Because they keep asking themselves- what would Jesus do?”

“Grieve not for the dead, for the dead feel no pain... Instead, weep for the living, who heal to hurt again.”
Jette Goldie

“We all know that God invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world.”
John Patterson, The Ghost and the Darkness

“Having a schizophrenic fantasy life is actually preferable, when you're too weak to do much beside shit yourself.”
Za Metallium

“Love always springs from Hate, there's no other option except to accept it as it comes along.”
Wealth Is Everything, Isn't it, Joren?, by Atherie

“There's a point when self-flagellation becomes outright narcissism.”
In Blood Only by E. M. Snape

“I usually say, ‘Fuck the truth,’ but mostly, the truth fucks you.”
Angels In America

“Respect is fine, but actually I've always wanted to be feared.”
Dr. Ross Jennings, Arachnophobia

“FEAR: Fuck Everything And Run.”
Anonymous

“I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.”
Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“'ONE MUST WALK THROUGH HELL TO GET TO HEAVEN' -- isn't that kind of like 'the ends justifies the means'?”
thoughts on a church sign

“There is no good, there is no bad. Just perspective and opinion.”
Squall Leonhart, Final Fantasy VIII

“If everything's a dream, don't wake me up.”
Cloud, Final Fantasy VII

“I remember the very first piece of fanfic I read. It was het. It was probably a Mary Sue but I didn't know what that was in 1998. It was a Hanson story. It sparked something in me that has stayed lit in my heart for the last 9 and a half years. I started writing my own story. It was het. It was probably a Mary Sue but I didn't know what that was then. I wrote it out by hand in a notebook from Berkeley that my mother had lying around. Everyday I added to it and I would read it to my friends. Then they started writing their own.
“I remember the very first piece of slash fic I read. I remember the name: Devil/Angel. I remember the author: Aspen. I remember the fandom: Hanson/The Moffatts. I didn't know it was slash at the time (Taylor/Scott), but I remember that I couldn't stop reading it. My mind was blown wide open.
“I remember the day I told my mother about fanfiction and the day I told her I knew that she would never ever understand. But I knew it was something special. Something that spoke to me in ways that nothing had until that point. And 9 and a half years later, she still doesn't understand, she still doesn't like it, but I'm still here. They say that if you can't tell your mother about it, you shouldn't be doing it. Well, I have told my mother about it and if I can stand my mother's disappointment I think that I can handle anyone else's.
“Her arguments never stood up to all the things that Fandom has given me. Fandom has been a home to me, a place I know I will always be welcome and where I can hang my hat/pen. I know that no matter what I do, Fandom will be here to hold my hand and tell me it's okay. I have never thought, 'Oh, I can't post this. Fandom will hate me' because Fandom does not have the capacity to hate. We may shout and scream, but what family doesn't? Fandom accepts, Fandom loves, Fandom gives.
“Fandom accepts that I am not perfect, that I am strange and bizarre, but gives me a place to be myself.
“Fandom loves my quirky sense of humor and is always here to help me through the bad times.
“Fandom gives me hope that the world is not full of ignorant, close-minded people and that I'm not so strange and bizarre after all. Fandom gives me an outlet to express myself in ways that I have never before believed were acceptable.
“I love fandom. I love everything it represents and everything it offers. The women and men I have met in fandom are amazing people. The ones I am lucky enough to call "friend" will hopefully be with me for the rest of my life. I have met friends here, I have lost friends here, I have met lovers here.
“To me, fandom is a place where nothing is unexpected. I can write the most bizarre, cocked up story and I know that someone will see the beauty in it, someone will see what I was trying to do, someone will bonk me on the head for a huge plot hole and a million other things, too. I love that.
“I know that if I have a horrible, terrible day, I can write about it in a livejournal post and someone will offer a hug, someone will offer a suggestion, someone will tell me I'm wrong and a million other things, too. I know that I can tell fandom all about my day and no one will tell me that I am a waste of space. Fandom has given me a home, a nook to decorate any way I wish, and a note saying I can stay as long as I want.
“A long time ago, I read a story. I read a story and it gave me a family.”
escapism

“‘Okay, I forget. Am I the good twin or the evil one?’
“‘You won the coin flip this morning. You're the evil one,’ she said.
“‘Oh, good.’”
Family Values, by Istar

“‘You're talking like we live in a story book,’ she scoffed. ‘This is the real world.’
“He smiled sadly. ‘Where do you think the stories come from, Hermione?’”
Family Values, by Istar

“Man says to God: ‘God, why did you make woman so beautiful?’
“God says: ‘So you would love her.’
“‘But God,’ the man says, ‘why did you make her so dumb?’
“God says: ‘So she would love you.’”
Unknown

“Those whom the Gods wish to destroy, they first drive insane.”
Euripides

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”
John F. Kennedy

“Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.”
Jacob Braude

“We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction.”
General Douglas MacArthur

“Some of us prefer illusion to despair.”
Nelson, The Simpsons

“Isn't watching someone do math one of the levels of hell?”
“I think it's where they send sorcerers.”
Penny Arcade

“Allow me to introduce to you my research, which I think you will find is of great importance...
“*watching Casshern*
“Wow... it's the... Shakespearean technological apocalypse, as written by the directors of the Matrix and Power Rangers...
“...That's really the only way I can describe it.
“EDIT: Uh... I sure could take this a lot more seriously if they didn't play cheesy 80s J-Rock during the dramatic battle scenes. And if Tetsuya didn't remind me of that guy from Guyver. And if mutant buddy lost his cape.
“*head-banging to the power of the human race*
“EDIT2: AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH!!!! After kicking over each other's heads a few token times, the bad guy grabs the good guy and they fly into the air screaming, and the bad guy asks: ‘Why... are... you alive?!’ (Since it goes without saying that the good guy is a bioengineered superhuman full of masculine angst.)
“...With cheesy 80s J-Rock playing in the background.
“...This is truly one of the funniest moments of my existence.”
ariseishirou

“To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.”
Inspector André, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

“Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.”
Woody Allen

“War is like love, it always finds a way.”
Bertolt Brecht

“If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.”
Anonymous

“One time, my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass.
“True story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room.
“So I run into him a week later at the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, ‘Jesus, Walt, what are you doing? You know you're just going to get this cat stuck in your ass, too. Why don't you knock it off?’ And he said to me, ‘Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?’”
Mall Rats

“Why were we born? Why do we have to live?”
“Why do you think?”
“I don't understand it.”
“There is no reason. Somehow we are born. And we live. That's about it.
“In this world, everything exists. No matter how you suffer, this is still our world. Even though there is suffering, you still have to love and accept this world.”
Boogiepop Phantom

“You're just pretending to love this world in order to protect yourself from it.”
Boogiepop Phantom

“Life's too short to stay on topic.”
?

“The whole world is a cage when you're trapped in it alone.”
The Lone Gunmen

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”
Ambrose Bierce

“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”
Steve Martin

“A failure to understand something does not automatically count as evidence for divine creation. Science is littered with once-mysterious facts first imputed to God and later found out to be explicable solely through natural processes.”
Jerry Coyne

“The stark contrast between his idiocy and my enlightenment is frustrating to me.”
Ctrl+Alt+Del

“For me, the idea that all these beautiful and wonderful things are products of chance and time and the forces of nature, and that the fact they even exist is against all probable odds, like an intricate and complex dance performed on the edge of a void, is incredibly more appealing than the idea of some childish dictator in the sky making it all out of dirt.”
mole_goddess

“Truth is a subjective concept at the best of times. It can be twisted and made to serve what purpose you want. Those that profess to know it are the ones you should trust the least.”
Solomon Prey

“Love, no matter how great, does not solve everything.”
Tamara

“Screw the rules, I have money!”
Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series

“This so-called 'hypothesis' can not be tested.
“Therefore, belief in it is faith.
“Therefore, this is religion.
“Therefore, no.”
Anonymous

“I think if God wore haute couture and top hats all the time, and played a darn good keyboard, he would be a lot like Tohma.”
Butterfly Tears, by supershu-chan

“and they all lived happily ever after, except for perhaps Snape.
“but that was undoubtedly for the best, as he would never wish to feel an emotion as frivolous and silly as that one.”
And Now For Something Completely Different, by Silvia Kundera

“When the pain is too great, [death] is all you can think about. That is the only answer you can come up with. Death will stop the hurting.”
Pianissimo Butterfly, by Angrybee

“What you see is what you get. What you miss is the truth.”
Possession, by Edmondia Dantes

“All of our lives are slipping away from us, all the time. That's why everyone needs something to hold onto. That's why everyone needs something to believe in. Because, without that, we're just creatures born on the face of this earth, with the sole purpose of someday leaving it.”
Pianissimo Butterfly, by Angrybee

“Look, I'm not letting you rape me just because you're bored.”
Eternity, by millefiori

“Rule number one for taunting your enemies: make sure they can't make use of any information you divulge.”
Nullifier, by Aedalena

“What the hell is Zabini, anyway, male or female?”
“Y'know, I fuck it at least once a week and I still haven't figured that out.”
Hogwarts Rehab: Second Friday, by Nimori

“The Bible is NOT proof of God. The Bible is proof of man's belief in a God.”
grimmee

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
Stephen Roberts

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
Epicurus

“Who needs self respect when you can write fanfiction?”
Opal Lynn

“Jesus' last words on the cross, ‘My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?’ hardly seem like the words of a man who planned it that way. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure there is something wrong here.”
Donald Morgan

“Everything is more or less organized matter. To think so is against religion, but I think so just the same. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.”
Peter O'Toole

“I'm beginning to understand why all scientists inevitably inject their children with the cells of aliens bent on the destruction of all mankind/exchange the life force of entire cities for their own immortality/create armies of the undead with super-viruses/go back in time with giant mecha destroy pre-war Tokyo (accompanied by armies of the undead).
“Well, here's hoping the scrawny Japanese boy who will inevitably stop my murderous rampage is a looker.”
ariseishirou

“Justice is not as the fables would paint it, all the world's morality in one pithy epigram; it cannot, whatever you believe, set the world back the way it had been.”
No Real Risk, by Amanuensis

“We often miss those who will be our best friends by a century or more. We find them in books and pictures. But that's it. Those born after us - we don't know anything about them. That's why I so envy people who create. They can keep themselves alive in pictures, words or deeds. Yes, in deeds, too. It is like a mantra: Thus I am, thus I was, love me! And if in their own lifetimes they have never found anyone -perhaps in a hundred years, or maybe two hundred, somebody will be born who will love them as they desired to be loved. Who will understand them as they desired to be understood. We poor creatures - once we're dead, we most certainly will never be loved again.”
The Scorpion, by Anna Elisabet Weirauch

“Qui vivens laedit, morte medetur.” (“What life wounds, death heals.”)
Latin saying

“When their friendship had started falling apart, nobody had said, ‘This will hurt--years from now--probably forever.’ Everybody talked about broken hearts and first loves being the best and worst at the same time, and nobody mentioned that friendship was a forever kind of ache.”
Initial Public Offering by prufrock

“Being a teenager was a hazing ritual; those who didn't lose their minds or commit suicide by the time they reached twenty-one got a 'Pass Go, Collect $200' card to adulthood and reality.”
Psychobabble by prufrock

“Bow down before me, for I can pun in Middle English.”
Lady K. d'Azrael

“That were a wee bit repulsive.”
“Went okay. 'Cept I feel a little weird about using a crucifix to kill someone.”
“Yeh dinno much about religion, do yeh?”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (comics)

“I'm beginning to think war is just a series of very vicious pranks.”
Cartographer's Craft, by Copperbadge

“Theatre is my wife; fiction is my mistress.”
Sam the Storyteller

“The friend within the man is that part of him which belongs to you and opens to you a door which never, perhaps, is opened to another. Such a friend is true, and all he says is true; and he loves you, even if he hates you in other mansions of his heart.”
The Wisdom of the Sands by Antione de Saint-Exupéry

“Captain, being the leader, you're supposed to say something like — ‘only French dicks have a responsibility to be in this fight. If the rest of you want to flee, then do it while you still can,’ or ... ‘you guys go ahead and escape, I'll stay here and hold 'em off.’”
“What the Hell are you talking about? You fellas came here to kill for chump change, same as me. You each chose the life of a mercenary. Let's go die like mangy dogs. Let's die screaming ‘fuck, fuck!’ ...Taking gut shots, and writhing on the ground in agony.”
Hellsing (manga)

“I thought you went off to church, but back you come with a wet blade.”
“Yeah, I went, but I'm all finished. I killed God.”
Blade of the Immortal

“If I was you, I'd quit any job with all this dust and sweaty, stinky old men around!”
“I chose this job because I like it! I enjoy being covered in dust! And sweaty middle aged men are cool!”
Othello

“I love you, therefore I never want to let go of you. Pain is but part of love, dearest child, and as I love you very much, I must also hurt you very much. If I didn't hurt you, love, how could you know the depth of my emotions for you?”
Abandoned by WolfPilot06

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
Fr. Alfred D'Souza

Andrew: “Okay Dawnie, listen to me very carefully. Most mecha creatures are susceptible to forced detachment of the control center. As long as it doesn't have a backup brain in its neck, you should be able to defeat it through simple decapitation.”
Dawn: “What are you talking about? How do you know all this?”
Andrew: “Hi. Have you met me? My giant-sized teammate is fighting a mechanized version of herself on the streets of downtown Tokyo...
“I've been preparing for this day my entire life!”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (comics)

“God for all intents and purposes is an equal sign, and at least up until now, something humanity has always been able to believe in is that the universe adds up.”
David Conte

“Rather than cut Reno's head off, Cloud graciously locked him out of the room. Rude came in, unselfconsciously pulling up his pants, and nodded to Cloud.
“‘Did I interrupt something?’
“‘Yes, and I thank you for that.’ Rufus Shinra's even voice preceded him, and his body followed, hidden beneath folds of gray silk and sitting slightly hunched in a wheelchair. ‘Sometimes I wonder if ShinRa has ever had a straight employee.’
“For a moment, Cloud considered raising his hand indignantly, but considering the weird aversion he had to Tifa's boobs, it didn't seem honest.”
The Silence of the Chocobos by Amarissa

“The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to.”
Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay

“Be who you are; wear what you want. Just learn to run real fast.”
Ugly Betty

“This world you created is a bust! It's a full-on hellhole! What gives?!”
“Well, it's sort of a work in progress. It's open to interpretation and & functions on multiple levels.”
“Great. Our creator is an artist.”
SinFest

“The motto's a lie. You know, the one that says ‘Home is where the heart is.’ Because not everyone's heart beats the same, you know?”
Heart Like a Hand Grenade by Link Worshiper

“Part of me is thinking how these people are such a fucking pack of sheep, but then again, I guess it's alright if they're getting herded in the right direction.”
Heart Like a Hand Grenade by Link Worshiper

“We're soul mates; we were from the very first moment our eyes met. This is a lot less romantic than people believe. And not just because of the dander thing. I mean, what's so hot about being soul mates? I'd rather fall in love with a guy because we like the same movies, or have a common hobby or something. Not because some Great Mystical Force decided to slap us together willy-nilly.”
Monsters by Maldorer

“...So I says to Strife, c'mon, s'just a plaid skirt and matching blazer, it'll look good on ya! But he knocked me on the head with that Rune Sword, so not only did he attack me, he got, like, a shitload o' AP for it.”
The Silence of the Chocobos by Amarissa

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